


Haven't The Foggiest

by sammys_lover



Series: October Writing Challenge '20 [17]
Category: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack
Genre: Adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Fog, Friendship, Gen, Halloween, Horror, I basically wrote my own episode, Light Angst, No Romance, October, October Prompt Challenge, Reader's a woman, Reader-Insert, Sailing, Sexism, october writing challenge, sfw, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26989156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammys_lover/pseuds/sammys_lover
Summary: You're an adventurer, back in Stormalong for a little R&R between journeys.When a mysterious fog rolls in, the fate of the Candy Barrel is put at stake -- it's up to you, an old drunk, a little boy, and a whale to get to the bottom of things -- and save the Candy Barrel!Oh, and all those people who can't dock their ships, you guess.
Series: October Writing Challenge '20 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949584
Kudos: 9





	Haven't The Foggiest

**Author's Note:**

> I've been re-watching The Misadventures of Flapjack and I got all nostalgic, so I wrote this!

Ah, Stormalong! 

You’ve lived here for only a short while – you'd bounced from place to place, from adventure to adventure, gathering gold and jewels -- and candy of course -- to finally afford an home of your own. And what better place for an up and coming adventurer like yourself than Stormalong Harbor? 

You’ve got a spring in your step as you throw on your hat and move downstairs in your... sort of cozy (you haven’t decorated yet, alright?) home to your front door. You’d just gotten back from a journey yesterday, and you were happy to be back home to catch up with the guys at the... can...dy...... barrel? 

As soon as you’d opened your door, you were greeted by the sight of... nothing. Well, that’s not true. There’s fog out there. A thick, dense fog that wouldn’t allow you to see more than three feet ahead of you. You grab a lantern before you leave, trying to use the low light to your advantage as you step out into the streets. 

Instead of the usual ruckus, there’s a sort of panicked ruckus, accompanied by splashes as people wandred off of the docks, trying to locate one another through... Marco polo? 

“Marco!” 

“Enough’a that, Flap!” 

You somewhat recognize the two voices – that old captain and the little boy that live in the whale down below – Bubbie. You chat with her in-between your adventures, bringing her gossip and drama from faraway lands. 

You venture blindly into the fog, taking careful, small steps as you went. The last thing you’d want is to fall into the sea right now. 

You hear the Dock Hag shouting... well, just shouting, and call out for her attention. 

“What’s going on with this fog?” 

“What do I look like to you? How should I know? It’s been here since midnight – really been holdin’ up my ticket writing, too! I’d give this darned fog a ticket if I could!” 

Hm. Well, thanks for nothing, I guess. 

You go off of memory as you make your way to the Candy Barrel, that kid from earlier still yelling “Marco!” and giggling. 

You decide to play along as you shuffle across the dock. 

“Polo!” 

You hear a gasp, and then squeaking footsteps running in your direction, followed by another person’s startled yell, a heavy thud, and then... dragging? 

“Marco!” 

“Polo!” 

“Marc-AAHH-!” 

That kid had been running so fast he’d barreled right into you, old captain in tow, the force knocking you off of your feet as the three of you tumbled in a ball of limbs right through the doors of the candy barrel. 

You’d landed flat on your face on the bottom of the pile, groaning in pain as the others shuffled off of you to stand. The kid offers to help you up. He'd picked a good day to thow you through doors. You were in a good mood today, and he's just a kid. It was just an accident, so what was the use in getting pissed at him, right? Now, what was his name again...? Pancake? Hashbrowns? 

“Hey, it’s Flapjack, right?” 

His face lights up, and he nods proudly. 

“Yes ma’am! Who are you?” 

The both of you move away from the door, the old... blue? Captain following as he scanned the Candy Barrel. 

“The name’s Y/n, kid! I’m an adventurer – I'm friends with Bubbie.” 

“Oh, yeah! I know you! Bubbie tells me your stories sometimes!” 

The blue captain eyes you suspiciously. 

“I was expectin’ you to be a little more, er... man... ish.” He finally speaks. You raise a brow. “Did you really cut through cursed fog and wrestle a pickle squid?” 

You nod with a smile, rolling up your sleeve to show off a scar from said pickle squid that ran across your upper arm. 

“It still smells like vinegar to this very day.” 

You’re about to bring up the subject of fog and curses when someone dings a spoon against a glass, and all the adventurers in the Candy Barrel turn their attention to Peppermint Larry – including you. 

“Now listen up, everyone – something's just gotta be done about this fog! It’s so thick the ships can’t come in – and no shipments means no candy for anyone.” The crowd jeers around you. No candy?! Maybe wandering off the docks and into the ocean wouldn’t be so bad after all. “That being said,” he continues with a nervous laugh, “I want to ask you fellas if any of you would venture out and try to find out what’s causing the fog."

Dead silence.

"Whoever can clear it up will get a free candy for a week!” 

And just like that, adventurers around you begin buzzing with chatter – a few of them leave the tavern to start up their quest immediately, which... well, they end up just walking right off the dock. You can hear the distant splashing. 

Free candy for a week?! Count you in! Oh, but wait – wait, you can’t set sail if you can’t see...you’d only end up crashing your ship into another ship or into the harbor. 

Your eyes fall on Flapjack and his Captain – and an idea strikes you. Bubbie! You could ask her if she would accompany you out of Stormalong! 

You walk over to Flapjack and his Captain, whose name you just can’t recall aside from K’... somethin’, coming up between them and slinging an arm over each of their shoulders. 

“Gentlemen, I have a proposition.” 

“Sounds like you should see a doctor for that.” you ignore the captain’s dry, sarcastic reply. 

“I have maps that can guide us for miles – you live in Bubbie. I’d like to work with you both – the four of us – you, you, me, and Bubbie, to find the source of this fog. Huh? Whaddya say?” 

“Why do YOU wanna go with US?” 

You turn to the captain. 

“Well, K’...buckle?” 

“It’s K’nuckles!” 

“K’nuckles, I can’t sail in this fog. Bubbie can swim in it. With her and my maps combined, we’ll solve this fog problem and then be back to swim in all that candy Peppermint Larry promised.” 

Flapjack looks up at K’nuckles, his hands clasped together. 

“That sounds like a great idea! Three adventurers working together a-” 

“I don’t bring dames on adventures.” 

You and K’nuckles glare at each other, and there’s an atmosphere as heavy as the fog. 

“Then it’s a good thing it’s not your call, eh, captain?” 

You let your arms fall to your sides before you head out of the Candy Barrel, calling out behind you. You'd wanted to get their blessings before you set off -- but you don't need permission.

“Let’s get going!” 

“Adventuuuuuuuuure!” 

*** 

“-And that’s why I need a ride! I’d really, really appreciate your help, Bubbie.” 

“Please, please, please, pleeeease, Bubbie?” Flapjack puts on his best puppy eyes, looking up at his... whale mom?

"Oh... alright, cupcake. Y/n seems like a great role model -- if you wouldn't mind taking him with you too?"

You nod with a smile. "It'd be my pleasure, ma'am! Thank you!"

Flapjack cheers as you thank Bubbie, K’nuckles crossing his arms, grumbling under his breath a little ways away– you elect to ignore him for now. 

“Well, what are we waiting for? Adventure awaits, young Flapjack!” You rustle his hair before you and he climb aboard Bubbie, K’nuckles begrudgingly following along. 

“Alright, point us in a direction, captain.” 

“I’M the captain here!” 

You shoot a pointed glare K'nuckles' way. “I’ve got the maps,” You shrug your bag off your shoulders, pulling out your map of Stormalong, which expands out about five miles in each direction. “That makes me the captain.” 

You unfurl the map – alright, the wind isn’t blowing from the north – it's gotta be... 

“Southeast, Bubbie – to the uh... the left. Yup! This-a-way!” 

You're able to sail in peace for a few minutes before K'nuckles speaks up -- you're tempted to push him in the ocean.

“Bah...women.” 

Heat flares under your skin -- you were used to sexism from other adventurers and sailors at this point you guess, but it still- STILL got under your skin to hear it. You keep your tone flat.

“What about us?” 

“You come on into a man’s life, thinkin’ you can take over! Change everything! Put- put doilies on everything! One minute you’re smoochin’ and the next you’re sailin’ off, never to be seen again!” 

Uh? 

You look at him, confused – he's being sexist, yeah, you’re used to that, but... what? 

“Don’t mind him, honey,” Bubbie speaks up. “K’nuckles doesn’t know what he’s talking about. That man married a mirror.” 

“yOU PROMISED YOU’D NEVER BRING HER UP AGAIN!” 

Welp, you’re only ending up with more questions than answers here, so you decide to dig around for your telescope – the fog seems to be getting thicker. 

“Look, cap’n!” Flapjack points into the water, and both you and K’nuckles look off the side of Bubbie, who has slowed down to let you take a look. 

It’s a piece of driftwood – and there... there seems to be someone clinging to it, barely alive. 

“Hey!” You call down to them, leaning even further forward. “Are you alright?” 

The person looks weakly up, his skin thin and hanging loosely off his skull. 

“Couldn’t....hold it.... any...... more...............” He lets out a wheezing breath before flopping dramatically forward, seeming to die. 

The four of you stare with wide eyes. 

“I... think we’re heading in the right direction. Let’s keep going, guys.” 

Nobody says a word – you all just continue on. 

*** 

You sail for hours, you and Flapjack playing i-spy at his insistence – though the only things around to look at was the fog. His answer has been fog for the last... 36 turns.

“I spy soooomethiiiiiiiiiiing...” 

“White?” 

“How’d ya guess?” Flapjack smiles up at you, and you can’t help but laugh a little bit. Ah, this kid. 

K’nuckles has been quiet the entire time, studying your maps behind you – you'd let him rifle through a couple of them just to shut him up. 

“Ooh- we’re comin’ up on some shallow waters.” Bubbie slows down – you can’t see more than a foot in front of you. “Is this a- yeah, this is an island. What do you think, Y/n?” 

You pull out your map – this is- this is dungeon island, you think. You’ve been here before – but you'd not been completely through the jungles yet, though. You were... well, being pursued by some kind of cursed floating head at the time. Couldn’t exactly stop. 

“I think we’re here. The fog’s gotta be coming from here... it's so thick. C’mon, Flap, K’nuckles.” 

Flapjack scrambles down Bubbie excitedly and disappears into the fog. K’nuckles doesn’t move. 

“Hey,” You poke him. He’s laying on his back, snoring??? 

You sigh, pushing him off of Bubbie and into the shallow water with a tiny splash. He wakes with a startled shout. 

“Who????? What????? Where????” You snicker as you hop down beside him, splashing as you land thigh-deep in the water. 

“C’mon, we’re here.” 

“Do that again and I’ll end you, woman.” 

“You and what army?” 

“I don’t need one!” 

“That’s enough, you two! K’nuckles, you’d better treat Y/n kindly and look after my baby while you’re on this freaky place!” 

K’nuckles grumbles as he moves out of the water and onto the shore – when you all get there, you can’t see your own hand in front of your face. The fog’s too thick. 

“Bubbie,” you call out, holding your hand out for Flapjack’s hand – you tell him to hold K’nuckles’ hand too. “We’ll be back in... alright, I dunno when we’ll be back, but it’ll be before dark!”” 

“Be careful!” 

You three venture forth, using a smaller lamp to guide you – the trees are thicker than the grey fog that blinds you – your boots shuffle through the underbrush, calls of numerous tropical birds above your head. 

“So uh... what’re we lookin’ for exactly?” 

You shrug, mentally keeping count of your paces. 

“Something... weird. Anything that sticks out as strange.” 

“Like that blue light over there?” You look over to where Flapjack was talking about – it's off to your left. You see it too. 

“Yeah, like that!” 

The three of you arrive at the blue light, which is fire burning on a torch above a... oh, god, a dungeon... thing? It’s a huge cave opening. The fog looks like it’s coming from inside – the entire half of the island beyond the cave that you can see looks clear. 

“Welp, this... this looks like the place.” 

“Kinda suspicious we found it so easily, don’t ya think?” 

Hm. Maybe K’nuckles has a point, as much as you hate to side with him. 

“Well, let’s go!” 

Flapjack lets go of your hand to happily bound forth, crying out “adventuuuuuure!” as he went. 

He’s disappeared into the fog that was spilling from the cave’s entrance – what was his deal?! 

“Flapjack!” You shout, standing at the mouth of the cave, panic washing over you. ”Flapjack, come back!” 

There’s dead silence from inside the cave as you and K’nuckles stand there, shell-shocked. 

“Welp, he’s dead.” 

“K’nuckles!” You glare at him as you turn, snapping a branch off of a nearby dead tree, sticking the end of it in the blue flame. It acts as a pretty nice torch. “Come on, we can’t just leave him here- who knows what could be in there?!” 

You storm forward, erring on the side of caution, trying to follow flapjack’s footprints he’d left on the cave floor exactly. 

“Flapjack!” 

Your voice echoes as you wave the torch about, trying to get a sense of what was happening in this damned place. There isn’t much to see here... aside from some strange drawings on the wall. Drawings of many different people, and the words “KEEP IT IN” and “KEEP IT CLOSED” sprawled out everywhere, written in a rust-brown substance. 

“Does he always do this?!” 

“Run off like a stupid kid? Yes.” 

“Does he always disappear?!” 

“No, he doesn’t. But he’ll come back, I’m sure of it.” he puts his hands on his hips as he stops. “Let’s just wait right here!” 

(One hour later) 

“Hey, I don’t think he’s coming back.” 

“Yeeeeah, I think you’re right. Flap! Where are ya, boy?!” 

K’nuckles steps deeper into the cave with you, the both of you listening carefully for laughter, crying, something. 

You can hear Flapjack’s laughter coming from a tunnel off to the side – he went to the right. 

“This way,” K’nuckles prompts, heading down the hall with a sort of reckless demeanor. God- he's not even being wary of traps! 

You catch up with him quickly, the cave’s path getting narrower – and Flapjack’s laughter turns to noises of distress. 

“Flapjack!”   
"Slow down! You can't see two feet ahead of you!"

K’nuckles runs forward blindly, and you take off right behind him. If he isn’t careful, he’s going to get himself- 

“AAAAHHH-” 

He falls off of an edge, and you catch his arm at the last second, your torch falling to the cave floor, almost going completely out. 

“Pull me up, pullmeuppullmeuppullmeuppullme-oof!” 

You hoist his back up and onto the cave floor, the both of you panting as you catch your breath. 

You smack him upside the head before you pick up your torch. Dumbass!

“OW! What’s your problem, lady?!” 

“You! You’ve had a hair up your ass this whole adventure! You need to either listen to me or I might not be right there to catch you the next time you almost fall into a spike pit!” 

You shine the torch over the pit to reveal jagged, sharpened rocks, skeletons scattered throughout the pit. Jesus. Countless adventurers were dead down there... wait. Careful, grown adventurers hadn't made it over this pit. But a reckless child did?

“...how did Flapjack get past this thing?” You ask slowly as the two of you get up from the cave floor, looking at each other, confusion written all over your faces. 

“...he couldn’t.” 

You and K’nuckles stand in silence, peering into the pitch black void that lies on the other side of the pit, listening to... something. 

You realize it’s the pap-pap-pap of little footsteps coming towards you both. 

You speak lowly to K’nuckles, telling him to get ready to run as you hold the torch out, the light just barely reaching the other end of the pit. The footsteps get closer and closer, and you expect to see young Flapjack come out of the darkness any moment now. In fact, the footsteps sound like they’re right beside you. 

A chill runs down your spine.

You and K’nuckles slowly look up. 

There above your heads is Flapjack, standing completely on the ceiling, a wide, almost painful-looking smile on his face as his head twists, bones snapping with a stomach-churning sound as his head turns completely around and downward to look at you both. 

He’s laughing now – but his usual high pitch is distorted somehow – like it was being played back on a tape recorder – before its pitch gets lower and lower, more distorted, as fog rolls down from his open mouth. 

You and K’nuckles scream, running for your lives. 

“THAT’S NOT FLAPJACK!” 

You grab his hand and pull him along with you before he can run the wrong way – panting as you listened to the skittering of not-Flapjack on the cave’s ceiling, distorted laughter bouncing off the walls. 

Your lungs burn as you sprint at full speed, not stopping for anything. 

“I KINDA NOTICED!” 

You can see the fading light of day at the end of the cave, the thick wall of fog stirring up again – you spot the not-Flapjack pick up speed and throw itself to the cave floor in front of the entryway. 

You’re blinded by the fog, breathing heavily as you hold your torch with both hands like a weapon, ready to strike. You and K’nuckles stand back to back, listening the wheezing clicks and hisses coming from the not-Flapjack, still hidden by the fog. 

“What do we do?” 

You think for a second. There’s really only one thing TO do. You’re going to have to fight your way out. 

Before you can communicate that, though, the not-Flapjack leaps from the fog and tackles you to the ground, his limbs long, every finger a claw, an array of different voices, all begging “no, please!” and “god help me!” playing from his disturbingly wide mouth, thick fog rolling past its jagged teeth, about to go in for the kill when- 

THWACK 

K’nuckles hit it over the head with a nearby rock before screaming and running out of the cave at full speed. 

You scramble up off of the ground, not even bothering to look at the creature before you sprinted out of the cave too, the fog thick in the air once again. 

“K’nuckles!” you call out, listening carefully. 

“Over here!” 

He’s off to the side, catching his breath as he leans against a tree, eyes wide with panic. 

“We’ve gotta get outta here!” 

“No! No, we have to seal that thing away! Like the walls said!” 

“But- Flapjack-!” 

“If he’s in there, he’s gone, man. You saw that thing.” Your eyes tear up as you think about it. Man, he was.. He was just a kid. 

You shake your head, looking further up – there’s a conveniently-placed boulder sitting up there above the cave. 

“Help me push that rock down.” 

He begrudgingly agrees, the both of you climbing up to stand over the cave, pushing the boulder with all of your might until it falls with a thunderous BOOM, coming to rest in front of the cave mouth. 

You don’t say anything as you and K’nuckles make your way back down to the ground, the fog already clearing up around you. You can see about six feet ahead of you. That... thing must have been producing fog for a long time to confuse its victims. Draw them in...

You try not to think about it.

And when you come back to the beach, you spot Bubbie, waiting so patiently there. 

Oh n- she's going to be absolutely heartbroken. 

“I hope you two had a nice time.” She sounds a little... annoyed? You’re not sure why, but you choose not to address it. This is going to be hard enough. 

You take off your hat, holding it with both hands in front of you, hitting K’nuckles with your elbow. He does the same. 

“Bubbie, we uh-” you get a little choked up, having to clear your throat to be able to speak again. You could cry later. “We have some bad news.” 

“...what happened, Y/n?” her voice softens, and she gives me her full attention. This was going to be hard... 

“Well, Bubbie... It’s about Flajack. He... well, he was...there was a monster – some sort of shapeshifter, and he... he didn’t make it.” 

You hear K’nuckles sniffle in the background as your own tears well up. 

“I’m so sorry, Bubbie.” 

She stares blankly at you, confused. “Y/n?” 

You stand at-attention, patting the head of Flapjack, who had come to stand next to you, looking up at you with confusion. 

“Yes, ma’am?” 

“Look down, honey.” 

You do to find Flapjack right there, arms full of seashells. 

“Flapjack!!!!” You place your hands on his shoulders, your hat in the sand now. “Kid! You’re okay!!!” 

K’nuckles had joined you in your quiet celebration, ruffling Flap's hair with one hand while putting his hat back on with the other. 

“I sure am glad to see you, boy!” 

“But- but you were with us! In the cave! What happened?!” 

“Well, when I came ashore, I waited right here on the beach for you and K’nuckles to follow me so we could go explore the island! But... well, you never came to get me. And Bubbie didn’t want me to go out in the fog by myself, so we were working on a sand castle to surprise you when you got back!” 

He gestures towards a pile of sand that was promptly washed away my an incoming wave. 

“Uh huh. Now how about you explain to me why you ditched my little angel?” 

You put your hat back on, laughing nervously. 

This... was gonna be a long ride home. 

*** 

Before long, the fog cleared up, and it was smooth sailing back to Stormalong. Flapjack wasn’t upset with you after you explained the whole mix-up, and neither was Bubbie, and you all agreed to never go back to the newly-named mimic island again. 

Now you were in the lap of luxury at the Candy Barrel, on your third round of candy, retelling your tale of bravery and near-death to the patrons, completely engrossed in your story. 

“So there he was – dangling over a pit of spikes, the only thing keeping him from the cold clutches of death was me – and with all my might, I pulled him back from the brink!” 

“Woah, K’nuckles, you had to be rescued by a lady?” One of the patrons scoffs a laugh into his drink. Your bitchface remains in-place. 

“Actually, he had to be saved by an adventurer.” you correct, taking another drink, holding eye contact with the prick. 

“Yeah. And maybe if you tried a little harder, you’d be half the adventurer she is.” K’nuckles backs you up, and you raise your glass to him as a thanks. He returns the gesture with a nod that says ‘you’re not half-bad, kid.’ 

“Anyway,“ you smile, “Where was I?” 

“Oh! Oh!” Flapjack raises his hand from his seat alongside K’nuckles. “You were at the part with the spike pit!” 

“Ah yes, the spikes! So there we are in the dark, nothing but a torch’s flame to guide us...” 

And so, you weave your tale to everyone in the Candy Barrel, heart light from all the candy you’d eaten and drank, ready for the next adventure, whenever that may come to be. 

Nothin’ to do with fog, though. 

Never the fog again. 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I've ever written something where the main focus wasn't romantic lol
> 
> I've been extra exhausted this week, so I went a little easy on my mind today


End file.
